I know – why can’t they just settle down already! – right?
Well, Marcus got an amazing job in Dublin and we’re leaving in January. It’s a great career move for him and is with a company that he’ll absolutely love working for. The last couple of months we’ve been on the edge of our seats hoping against hope that we would get this unbelievable opportunity – how often do you get a chance to live in Ireland?
Our first thought when we realized we were going was how much we hate leaving Stockholm. We have such a good life here close to Marcus’ parents. It’s going to be tough being away from family again.
But we feel really good about it and are sure it’s the right thing to do for our family. It’s going to be scary since we don’t know anyone there and since now that we have a daughter we can’t just fill up our three old suitcases and hop on a plane like we usually do. This time it’ll be very different.
Personally, I think it’s the most exciting move we’ll have done so far. I can’t wait to see what Dublin has in store for our little family!
It just turned November and it’s already blurring past us. I think I might actually be able to abstain from listening to Christmas music before time this year.
Big changes are coming for our family and I’m busying myself with picking out side dishes to make for Thanksgiving. This is however a great distraction. You can never prepare too much for the best meal of the year, and the possibilities seem eeeendless! The ones I’m most excited about right now are confetti corn and banoffee pie!
I get out of bed and follow the same routine. Get up at 7, pull on my sweats, change a heavy diaper, whip up breakfast. Wave bye-bye to Marcus, eat breakfast, call my sister, fit in a workout routine before naptime. During naptime I shower, clean up, get myself ready and blog if there’s time. After nap we snuggle in bed, then we have lunch. We go outside, on a walk or to the park. Or both. We go home and clean up and then it’s almost time for Marcus to come home. We meet him at the train, talk on the way home, have dinner, the bedtime shift, take a breath and then we go to bed.
Over and over again. And every time we get one day closer.
You’d think we were pretty used to change by now, and I guess in one sense we are. We know how to not get too attached and how to say ‘come what may’ and really mean it.
But the thing about change is that – well, it’s change. It brings on something new every time. So can you really ever be prepared?
Winds in the east, mist coming in. Like somethin’ is brewin’ and bout to begin. Can’t put me finger on what lies in store, But I fear what’s to happen all happened before.
I’m really crap at ending blog posts. Especially the blabbering ones like this one. That’s why I cheated and slapped on a relevant quote!
My life is very ordinary now. I’m a stay at home mom like so many before me. I do laundry, clean up toys, change diapers and clean the bathroom. It’s a never ending job and I’ll probably be doing it for a long long time.
But once in a while, when it’s quiet and I can take a break. Like right now, sitting here in the corner. I can take a good look around my cluttered little apartment and realize that I have woken up in a life-size version of a fantasy I imagined over and over again as a kid. I’m playing house.
And I’m the mom.
I managed to get the role I always dreamed of. I have a husband who goes to work, a baby who needs comforting and a home that needs making. This now magical little apartment is my kingdom, and I’m in charge. I’m the mom.
My white stained couch, the dirty dishes on the counter and the full laundry baskets are colorful little opportunities for me to beautify my realm. They’re my responsibility and I will do them justice. I have the power to make my home as radiant as I want.
It’s also my responsibility to prepare dinner. I can cook whatever I decide. Or maybe I can make something my husband would like. Something that would make him happy after a long day at work. Cause he’s the dad. He’s my husband, he loves me and he’s the dad. I chose a good one to play that role.
My baby girl is crying, she wants me. And I know how to comfort her, because I’m her mom. We can read books, she likes that. Soon when she is older I will teach her to read and write herself. I will teach her good manners and how to be kind and friendly to others. I will teach her to be a good daughter. That’s her role.
Thinking about this makes me smile, I almost feel silly. Because this is my life and it’s not make believe. It’s real and it’s exactly what I wanted – what I always dreamed of. It’s like the floor sparkles a little more when I scrub it, like glitter falls when I dust the shelves. I can see the magic. It comes from living your dream. I got it. I have other dreams now, but none will ever be as big or meaningful as this one. I’m just feeling extremely grateful I guess. Grateful for everything I have, that my dream came true. But especially grateful that I have learned to see the magic even when the dream has become ordinary.
Today has included seeing friends, family, a road trip, good food and now Marcus offered to take the snooze shift – so I get some quality time with my blawg.
Sunday is my favorite day of the week, since usually it includes all of the above. We get up early, get dressed all nice and pretty. We go to church and hear uplifting messages. We spend a lot of time with our family and have good food. And there’s nothing else that needs to be done.
But my very favorite minute of the entire day sums it all up. It’s so magical it seems the sun is shining indoors and glitter is falling from the sky. It’s that walk through the doors of the church, down the hall and to your seats in the chapel. There’s something about arriving feeling clean, your hair is done and you’re wearing heels. At least that’s a big deal for a my kind of stay at home mom – face is all relaxed like ‘I’ve worn a bun all week!’. We’re not early birds, so by the time we get there the building is full of soft preluding organ music, playing songs we know all too well. We’re met by smiling people. Everyone, even those we don’t know turn and say hi. It’s like a different world. S usually waves at everyone with a scrunched up little smile (if you follow me on Instagram you’ve seen that wrinkled nose a few times by now or?), which buys a few extra grins and ‘hellos’ and glitter. In the chapel we’re met by grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, siblings.. (I envy Marcus for having grown up surrounded by his extended family like this). Everyone is hugged and how do you do’ed. It’s kind of a unicorn-pooping-skittles scene. And it’s awesome.
And that’s it. A few minutes later I’m shepherding my daughter away from the plants in the hallway and waving at our reflections over the baptismal font. And the rest of the day is a glitter rain dance.
Baby’s first ever beach day! I was so worried she’d be eating sand all day – but she didn’t! She was in too big of a hurry to get to the water!
This is her outfit no 2. Marcus lifted her just over the surface so she could splash with her hands but he didn’t notice the big wave before it completely drenched her. So she got her first ocean swim that day too.
Getting on the plane to Copenhagen! Baby was such a pro.
My wedding outfit. I hate posing alone in pictures – this is the only picture Marcus managed to take where I’m not doing an impatient silly face.
Outside the temple. She was in heaven! She made us walk her up and down the stairs a gazillion times – equally excited every time.
Posting this because it’s the only family pictures from that week. And we were all dressed up so pretty. Just forget about the distracted half-smiles.
A couple of times now Marcus has surprised me by walking in the door an hour or two earlier than I expected him. It’s literally Christmas morning. From that moment and until the second when Baby goes from being on fire with energy to uselessly sleepy, it’s family time. And it only lasts for 2-3 hours.
I hope that in a future life the world will be run by people who work from home. If only that would work!
It’s an overwhelming feeling, having a family. Because you realize (hopefully) that the only thing you want in life is to be with them. And all your major decisions are based on how to best support them. I guess I can only speak for myself though.
I definitely have other dreams too. I’d love love love to write and publish a book some day! I would absolutely love to run a family business with Marcus! And I want so bad to finish a good education. But I don’t want any of these more than I want to just spend happy days with my family. Happy blissful days in a green field, under warm blankets, out seeing the world. Does life really get any happier than that?
These pictures are from our family time last night. The grass was newly cut and the sun was out. It was amazing! And what better place to let a baby run wild than a wide open lawn? She was in heaven!
Just had to throw this one in here too. Look who’s standing up (for a few seconds) all on her own!
Good evening, everyone! I hope you’ve all had a great day and that you’re now enjoying a peaceful Sunday evening surrounded by loved ones.
Can I just talk a little bit about Sundays without getting religious about it?
At the moment I’m lying in my bed in my bright bedroom. It’s the first (wow) 15 minutes I’ve had completely to myself in a while. The window is slightly open so I can feel a soft breeze. It’s been nice and warm today, which has enticed me to show my pale winter legs in church today. The sun is not going down yet but the sky is turning orange and birds are singing their hearts out. I feel so peaceful.
Already this solitude and quietness feels rejuvenating and will probably help me be a little more patient when any second Marcus brings up a hungry Baby.
Yep, here he comes.
But those 15 minutes out of a day are what Sunday out of a week is for me. A time out.
Growing up, my parents have taught me that Sunday is a day for family. No cleaning, working, shopping or whatever. I’ve even always tried not to do homework. In honor of the time out.
And say what you may about it probably just being because I’m used to it now… but I really don’t know how I would function without a day like this. Where I can turn off my brain and forget about any and all obligations. Except for the obligation I have to my family.
And isn’t that the biggest obligation? Is it Sunday that serves the rest of the week – or is it actually the rest of the week that by letting us get through work and bills and groceries and cleaning and deadlines and events and plans actually serves Sunday? Allows us to clear one day of the week to focus on what is really most important. Our families.
I don’t know what to tell you. But for now I’m gonna close my eyes and listen to the birds for another minute. And then maybe play a game or go for a walk with my family. Or – let’s face it – I’ll probably just end up pillow-talking with my husband while I nurse our baby to sleep. But it’ll be uninterrupted family time. An seriously, it’ll make Monday mornings feel a heck of a lot easier.
So, if you’re not religious, forget about keeping the Sabbath holy – I just really love that I have one day off. To honor the time out.
I’m a real stay at home mom now. I am a mom. And I stay at home. From work at least. Our life has changed a bit since Marcus started working. We are no longer stay at home parents. Now I’m a stay at home mom.
Marcus’ alarm goes off at 6.30. Mine goes off at 6.35, just in case. We’ve calculated 10-15 minutes to lay in bed and talk. We haven’t quite shaken that habit yet. It’s nice. Marcus whispers ’good morning’ in Baby’s ear. She smiles in her sleep but doesn’t open her eyes. It’s too early. She rolls over. Face down. We laugh.
We talk over today’s plans. Marcus should be home by 7. In the meantime I’ll watch the baby. Our life is pretty simple. Marcus tickles Baby’s nose. ’Wake up!’ She starts whimpering. I give Marcus a pleading look. He leaves to take a shower.
I lie back on my pillow. I’m still pretty sleepy.
Marcus opens the door. I must’ve dozed off for 10 minutes. Baby is awake too. She’s already pulling herself up on her wobbly legs and grabbing the headboard tight. Her diaper looks pretty heavy. I grab her around her waist and kiss her chubby neck. She giggles.
On the changing table she really starts to wake up. I let her hold a pack of baby wipes to keep her occupied while I slap on a clean diaper. I put her back in her PJs, the day hasn’t quite started yet.
Marcus emerges from the bedroom. He can’t decide on a tie. I say the blue one. I prefer solid colors. By the way, he has time to have breakfast together if I want. I agree, one thing less to have to do alone with the baby.
It’s bright in the kitchen. I put Baby in her high chair and she happily slaps her fat hands on the table. Marcus gets out some dark bread. I’ll have that too. I can’t really reach the cereal anyway. Milk? Yes please.
Marcus is almost finished with his food when I sit down. He’s actually in a hurry, the train leaves in 20 minutes. I take a couple of quick bites out of my sandwich and get up to kiss him goodbye. I hug him tight. Five more seconds. Baby gets a kiss too but whips around in her chair when he leaves the room. She starts to cry. I pull her out of her chair. Marcus jumps back into the room. ’It’s okay, Baby!’ He’s surprised that she got sad. We walk into the hall and I ask Marcus when he thinks he’ll be home. Still 7. Another quick kiss before the door closes behind him.
I hoist Baby up higher on my hip and walk to the window. We watch him walk down the street for a few quiet seconds before he turns the corner and is gone.
I turn to Baby. ’It’s gonna be a fun day! Are you excited?’ She grabs my nose. ’But first, we sleep another hour’.
Random selfies that we send to Marcus during the day when we miss him.
Marcus’ birthday present for me this year was spot on. About a week ago we drove down to Herning to visit our good friends Hans and Katrine Borgenfalk. Hans is so incredibly talented and we are so happy that we got to to have him do a photoshoot of our family before we left Denmark. All credit and our great gratitude goes to him! These pictures will be cherished forever!
We’re down to our last week here in Aalborg. Marcus recently got a job in Stockholm, which means that we’re packing our bags yet again and moving our little family back to Sweden.
Yes, I am sad to leave my family and hometown again. I’m going to miss the liberty of spending the day at my parents’ house if I want to.. and Sunday family dinners. It’s been such a blessing – I never thought I’d come back and live here ever again when I left. Especially having my mom close by when I had the baby. For a small student family with next to no money I feel so fortunate that we even had the freedom to choose where we wanted to spend this last year of Marcus’ schooling.
Can I just dedicate an entire paragraph to Danish food? Cause that I will miss – especially pastries and cakes. Nothing against Swedish or even American food, but I realized not until I left Denmark just how much I love some foods here. And I know it’s purely for emotional reasons. It’s just what home tastes like. So, I’m REALLY gonna miss being able to get good cheap pastries at any store anywhere.
Although all of the moving has felt like such a hassel, I can see now that everything has really worked out for the best. I know this move will too. I’m excited to move back to Sweden, I really love Stockholm, and more than anything I’m so excited for Marcus to start his new job. I know he’s so excited to work on his career. These past couple of years have been very humbling and we’ve learned many lessons about how to make do and save money. But I can’t express what a relief it will be to finally be able to really save up money.
I’m gonna feel so grown up sending my man off to work every day! That should be fun! That’s what I tell myself anyway. It’s also been a gigantic blessing that we’ve been able to spend almost every hour of the day together for so long, and especially after the baby came. It’s going to be a huge change to not do everything together anymore. But that’s life and I can only thank my lucky stars that our situation has been so idyllic.
All in all, moving back to Stockholm will be a big turning point for us. It’s not only moving to Sweden, but also moving into a new lifestyle. Exciting times are coming!