Challenge

I didn’t get this happy by being a realist

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Throughout my life I’ve had friends and other people come up to me and tell me how they admired or envied certain aspects of my life, things that might not be as common these days. They would ask me how these were possible and upon hearing my answer they would sigh or laugh and give me an excuse as to why that could never work for them.

“It’s really cool that you have that good of a relationship with your parents even though you’re a teenager. I could never have that – my parents don’t understand me or let me do what I want”

“It’s so great that you don’t drink alcohol. Sometimes I wish that I didn’t. But I could never stop drinking – I would lose all my friends, because I can’t have fun without being drunk.”

“I wish I had faith in God like you do – that must be such a comfort in your life. But I could never be a believer – (that’s just weird).”

“It’s so wonderful that you are married, it’s just like a fairytale! I could never have that though – I don’t think I could ever find someone that I would want to be with my entire life!”

I’m really not trying to boast, I’m simply trying to convey the message that life is only as good as where you set the bar. It makes me sad to see people limiting their happiness because they are so busy being realists and being like everyone else.

A week ago we celebrated our second anniversary. My marriage (and the fruits thereof) are without a doubt my highest accomplishments in life. And if I’d had a PhD in something frighteningly academic or sold a billion dollar business, those would still be my highest accomplishments in life. In my experience, being part of a family is something that can bring you joy that you cannot find anywhere else.

And I’m not saying that you’re a failure if you haven’t found that certain someone yet. Because I know so many wonderful people that are trying their best in their search. Nor are you a failure if you don’t have strong family ties or if you’re unable to have children.

I am saying that the failure lies in deciding that that sort of happiness is out of your reach. Because it’s too hard, too different or even too good for you. How silly of a thought is that? That something is too good for you. The only person who decides how high you set the bar for your happiness and accomplishments is you. Life is too short to not live it to the fullest. Heck, stop living life like it’s too short! Expect it to go on and on and that you have the power to be happy for every little second of it.

Dream a little!

I’m lying here in bed between my sleeping husband and baby and my heart is singing of gratitude that I didn’t decide to only harvest my happiness from things that I could control or predict or that were socially acceptable. Because I know that I definitely would not have been where I am today.

Those were my early Monday morning thoughts.

What anyone who wants to get married should know

IMG_8246.jpg.jpgYHI had the pleasure of starting my day today by reading an inspiring blog post by a man who at the time had just gone through with his divorce and was now sharing a list of 20 things he wished he would have done in his marriage to keep it alive.

He ends his post by expressing his utmost regret that his list of advice were all things that he learned too late. That he should have known this at the beginning of their marriage instead of at the end.

Marcus and I celebrated our first anniversary this last Sunday. (more…)

A house of order

photo 3 (19).jpgYHI’ve always had mixed feelings about New Years resolutions. I guess it’s because every year when I’m forced to consider it and I ask myself what I want different this year, it’s never something simple and specific but more the feeling of simply wanting to be better. I just make better decisions and simply have more control over my life.
I suppose I just want to live my life in such a way that I’ll never need to have specific resolutions. That I will never have that one problem, so big, that I feel that I need to just focus on ‘it’ all year. I guess that’s a good resolution for me. To never let myself create the bigger problems so I can always just focus on refining myself. (more…)

Accomplishment task: Part 1

i-can-do-itYou know those periods when you feel like you aren’t accomplishing anything? When you feel like you’ve gone to bed at least 100 nights in a row thinking “I didn’t get anything done today”. Or at least so many nights that one night you think “I didn’t get anything done this MONTH!”. That’s when you know it’s bad. And in my case that’s sadly when I finally decide to get up and do something about it.

So today I’m gonna accomplish something.

I’m gonna empty my very very full laundry basket. All the way. To the pink bottom.  (more…)

Happiness is Thankfulness

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In 2005 a study was made on the causes of happiness. Part of this study was based on a questionnaire in which 577 people participated. The participants were divided into groups to each test a different method of generating happiness. The results of this test showed that the group that was to test the method of practicing gratitude, easily experienced the highest immediate effect. The exact task that they had was to write a letter of gratitude to an important person in their lives and then deliver the letter.

This year in July, one of my favorite Youtube channels, SoulPancake, made a video, demonstrating the same test. PLEASE take the 7 minutes to watch it. It’s really good! (more…)

Choosing the unlimited

InteriorcoolnessYHSo far I have talked a lot about dreams and setting goals. I’m sorry. But I just got married, so basically I recently had my entire life thrust into my hands. Can’t help it.

I saw this image on Pinterest this morning, and due to its insane awesomeness I had to show Marcus and then decided to share it with all of you.

If you haven’t looked through the pictures. Do it now.

Pretty cool, right?

I automatically start thinking about other things that would be cool to have… like… a fireman’s pole from the second story or… fake natural lighting in the entire house or… one room filled with pillows and the floor, walls and ceiling were mattresses or… a developed laundry chute system that lead from each bedroom and bathroom to certain baskets in the huge (clean) laundry room.

Dang, I would gladly live on oatmeal for a few months to save up for any of these!

But subconciously I know that I’ll never have any of this, so I just keep Pinteresting and eventually forget about it.

But wait a second. Why not think about it? Why couldn’t I have this? Why limit myself like that? And that is the question. Why decide from the beginning not to pursue something? Isn’t that stupid? Why do I have this determination that it is silly and a waste of effort to simply try?

Because I thought about something else. Something else, that I try hard to pursue every day. Cause I see the sun, feel the wind and hear beautiful sounds. I witness people doing amazing things and doing amazing things for others. And I don’t just smile and keep walking. But I choose to believe that there is something more. That there is a reason behind my existence. And even if I didn’t arrive at golden gates when I die, that choice changes my life every day. Because I choose the unlimited.

So why choose to limit your freedom and dreams by being “realistic” when you can choose to live a life to your full potential? In any aspect of your life. Whether it’s academically, your religious views, career or simple family values. Isn’t it more fun (if I may be so silly) to find out what you can do? To feel that high of creativity every day, because you’re striving for something.

So having given that fancy speech… Imma go design my laundry chute.

What’re you gonna do? (more…)

It was a dark and stormy night…

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It was Saturday. We had planned for a day at the beach, and maybe a bike ride to the next village up the highway – I was craving macadamia nut shrimp and Marcus frozen yoghurt. But when we rolled out of bed this morning the sky was cloudy and picky as we have become, we decided the weather was not “good enough” and settled for a day on the couch.

As the hours wore on the overcast sky turned to heavy dark clouds and soon it was raining. But unlike the five minute drizzles we were used to, these clouds seemed inexhaustible (more…)

My parents know

picture (6).jpgYHI’ve never known my parents as well as I do now. I don’t think I’ve thought “what would my parents do?” as often EVER as I do now. But maybe every new chapter of my life is gonna feels this way. You face unfamiliar challenges and you realize these are tricks your parents learned decades ago. Then you feel stupid. Stupid that you had your entire childhood to learn from them and watch them and ask every single necessary question along the way. But now you’re out. Out of their house, country and continent and your next visit is so far into the future that you haven’t even bothered to schedule it yet. Now I’m left to myself. (more…)