What the…! It’s almost over! It seems I’ll have a baby before I know it.
For me! My own… it is so surreal.
And I’m back in Denmark – in this case, meaning that I can get any food I feel like! The thing is it’s been a little bit of a let down. After my experience with ice and amazing smells, I thought Danish pastries might trigger the same kind of craving. But no. Don’t get me wrong, they were of course amazing, but not to die for.
However, other things have started to pop up. Very unexpected things. Things that aren’t food nor smells. Like vacuuming… the other night my mom took out the vacuum cleaner to go on a regular spider hunt around the house – on my little sister’s request. (Spiders don’t get crazy big in Denmark or anything… well, unless you don’t catch them when they’re small) And, well… she turned it on and instantly I was smitten. I don’t know why… I remember growing up I’ve always loved that warm smell the fan blew out of the top. Maybe that’s it? Or it’s the feeling I get when I see a floor getting cleaner instantly. Because lately I’ve also gotten the same feeling when I brush my teeth. When I scrub them clean. Scrub by scrub. Until they are all nice and good smelling.
I don’t know! Just know that I have a crazy urge to vacuum.
Ooh! Maybe vacuuming my parent’s new car (awesome smell!) would be fun!
Seriously, the way I react to smells around me now and the way they make me feel, makes me want to never stop being pregnant.
… I hope I’ll learn to love my baby as much.
On the more negative side I’m also experiencing heartburn for real now. I’ve had it before, but not enough to complain about or even consider a symptom. But this last week has sucked because of it. I only get i for about an hour or two at a time, but it’s gross when all your food and drinks seem to taste the same. Like acid.
Baby is certainly starting to draw a lot of attention to herself. She feels so big/strong now that it seems that instead of just kicking or punching she’ll annoyingly give long outward pushes. Just push and push until I finally push back. Huh, maybe she’s waiting for a high-five?
Last week of second trimester! Whaddup! Okay, can we talk about crying this week? I believe I’ve mentioned it before but I realize it has not been mentioned enough to match just how big a part it has played in my pregnancy. Especially lately.
First of all, I’m not sad. And I’m not stressed or under any pressure, so I really shouldn’t have a reason to cry. But I do. And it comes just as naturally and frequently as if it were a simple natural need. Like my body just has more to get out of its system than usual. It usually happens about once a week. I feel it coming. Usually I have a day of more hormonal activity. I get frustrated or irritated, until my mood makes me feel so bad about myself and sorry that I have been frustrated with Marcus that I just break down in tears.
Either that, or at times I have also been pushed to tears by utter exhaustion – usually from walking very far. That happened just yesterday when we went power shopping in Park City. ‘Power shopping’ is not the right word.. but we walked around for hours! In the end I just collapsed mentally and couldn’t keep it up any longer. I sat and cried in the car for half an hour before we could get on with our lives.
But again, I’m really not sad. It just needs to come out. It scared Marcus pretty bad in the beginning, because he thought it was his fault. After a few times we made a deal that I would tell him as soon as I could whether I was sad about something or if it was just hormones. And the last few months that has really been necessary. Because lately I don’t just cry… but I really bawl (in Marcus’ words:) “like you just found out that your entire family had been killed”. It gets pretty bad. And it goes on for up to an hour sometimes. Yes, I’ve turned into a pretty scary person.
But Marcus has been such a good sport. After getting used to the fact that I just need it out and that it can be neither stopped or rushed, he has fallen into the perfect rhythm of comforting and just holding me till it’s over. And really that’s all I need. I’m only just starting to realize all the grief I’ve put him through, being constantly sick and inconsolable for months, and now this. He still surprises me every day with just how good he is at being a husband. I can only trust that he is going to be an equally amazing father.
Apart from Mommy having to cry for two hormonal girls, Baby is doing good. She has been awfully energetic lately – or maybe she’s just getting bigger and stronger. Sometimes it feels like she both kicks both her legs and punches with both hands on my insides at the same time, which only sparks my imagination even more that she’s feeling claustrophobic and wants to get out. Hang in there, Baby!
She’s supposed to be the size of a .. rutabaga – what the heck is…? and about 35 cm. She weighs about 1100 g now! I’m literally carrying more than a liter of milk around on my belly all day. Huh! Bring on the third trimester! We’ll cry about it but we’re ready!
This is where it happens. All my blogging the last few weeks and just about everything else I do. This is my pregnancy nest. Feet up and two pillows to support my back. Usually there’ll be a cup of ice, a new shoe or a handy little snack sitting on the back of the couch. I’ll do pretty much anything here. Eat, read books, fold clothes, run my blog, ignore that I have to pee again.. you get the idea.
Lately, I’ve gotten the question a lot, “what do you do all day?”. I always feel like the explanation would take much longer than the questioner maybe intended my answer to be. So I figured that was a good sign that I should share more of that kind of stuff on here.
So what DO I do all day? Well… I try to keep myself busy. Because it passes time, and to me it’s such a sickening and demotivating feeling to go to bed and feel like I’ve done absolutely zilch today. But mostly, I try to keep busy… so I can stay awake all day. Oh, dilemma of the week! You know those nights when you crawl into bed and snuggle up for the night, but for some reason you just feel restless. All of a sudden you feel like you have all this energy, so much that you have a really hard time lying still – and it is therefore completely impossible to fall asleep. Yes?
Well lately that has been every single night for me. I’m starting to think it may have something to do with my being pregnant. But why? Are hormones making me feel this way? Cause honestly it’s gonna have to take more than a big belly to keep me from sleeping through the night. And yes, sometimes I do wake up and baby is shamelessly kicking me in the gut like she owns the place, but that is not every night. Explanations anyone? Mystery unresolved.
So anyway… the only way I’ve found to (almost) ensure a good night’s sleep is getting up with Marcus at 5.30 and staying awake till bed time. And for the first few days it’s easy enough! My early morning responsibilities are making my hub breakfast, which usually consists of a green smoothie and oatmeal with blueberries, and then packing his lunch, another smoothie, a sandwich and baby carrots. So by the time all that is fixed I feel pretty alert and awake. Or fresh as a fish, as you might say in my home country…. ….
But when I hit day 3 of this procedure I’m dead. Like red eyed dead.
And then I nap. And the cycle starts over.
Third trimester already seems a hoot!
So you understand that I need to busy myself with something. Usually when I hit that desperate time of day, when all I want to do is close my eyes for juuuust a second, I go for a walk. To Temple Square. Here is proof.
But it’s starting to get reeeaally hot here in Salt Lake. And Almost-Mommy here already has a hard time walking very far without the sweltering heat knocking her out. So I bring ice! Oh I’m gonna miss having an ice machine sooo bad! I seriously can get Christmas-level excited about walking down our hallway (that also smells AMAZING, I must say!) down two flights of stairs (still smells AMAZING!) and down to our ice machine where clean cups and as much ice as I have ever ever wanted are at my disposal. And there is also never anyone down there to watch my little mischievous act – which for some reason makes the entire experience all the more pleasurable.
Seriously.. just made myself want to go get more ice.
Be right back.
So when I’ve got my ice I go for my walk. It has over time become “my walk” because I walk the same route every time. Past the Reflection Pool, South Visitors Center, Assembly Hall, Tabernacle, North Visitors Center, Conference Center… and home. Sometimes I’ll stop to take pictures, read or watch tourists. And smell the flowers of course. Why, of course!
And then comes the best part. When my man comes home from work. And he is so happy! And so tired. He works so many hours every day but still he manages to be so excited about what he does. I treasure this so much because I can’t take for granted that he’s always gonna come home from work happy. I just count my lucky stars that God created me a woman and thereby granting me the odds of not having to be the main provider for my family. Can I just say once again what an amazing husband I, for some reason, am lucky enough to have.
Well, that’s my day, folks! In case you were one of the many people who have asked me and have gotten a far from satisfying or justifying answer, there you have it. It’s not much, but I must say I’m pretty content.
So for the past 6 months I’ve dreaded but expected becoming a big white pregnant whale with swollen ankles, feet and .. swollen everywhere, I guess. Especially since we found out we’re having a girl, I have seen it written in people’s eyes – the common suspicion that women carrying girls will not only grow a big tummy but will also grow generally wider.
But during my first trimester I lost weight and still looked slim with a big belly when I started showing. I got hopeful. Maybe I could make it through the full 9 months this way! I started looking up things I could do to prevent swelling. I made sure I moved around and went on walks every day and that I kept my feet up whenever I sat down.
But then this week I was sitting in my living room with my grandma after a nice long day in the sun. We were talking about how my pregnancy was doing when she suddenly asked whether I had noticed if my ankles and feet were swelling up a little yet. I started to wave off her question but figured I may as well take a look. And, oh dear, they were. Not a ton, but definitely bigger than my ankles and feet had ever been. My immediate reaction was, what did I do wrong??!
It took a while for me to calm down and realize this was only to be expected and was probably inevitable. Just 10 minutes later I asked my mom for her phone so I could see the pictures we had taken that day. I came across a picture of a group picture with myself in it and I couldn’t suppress a small whimper. I looked huge. It was not just my feet. I didn’t even allow myself the hope of thinking it might just be a bad picture. The day had come. And there was nothing I could do about it.
(I’m still debating whether or not to put the picture in the post, but I think I’ll spare myself the embarrassment of the thought of all of you studying my newfound plumpness. Though I know you have the best of intentions, of course.)
Baby Girl is jumping around inside. Wonder if she knows I’m talking about her. Marcus keeps reminding me that he wants me to tell him every single time I feel her move – this was all fine and good a few weeks ago, but now I can feel her aaall the time! The coolest is when I feel her little head turning and twisting under my hand.
I’m sitting here writing while putting up a brave fight to keep my eyes open – not quite ready to face the cleaning party I had planned for today.
Going to bed has not exactly been something I’ve looked much forward to this week. Despite the irony of constantly feeling tired I have just not been able to actually bring myself to falling asleep. I lie awake hours after my man has drifted off with nothing to count but the times my bladder manage to fill up again and again. So my mind wanders. I think of just about everything… (more…)
I’ve heard scary stories about pregnant women getting swollen ankles and feet, so I said to myself “not I!” and went online to see what I could do to prevent it from ever happening. Turns out the best thing I can do is to try to keep my feet up. You don’t have to say that twice! So here I am sitting with my feet up in our cool little kick-back chair about to put whatever odd thoughts that may come into my mind in writing, while my dear husband sleeps like a baby in the bedroom. I’ve had a bit of trouble falling asleep lately for some unknown reason – but I highly suspect that little person making my belly look like a popping bag of popcorn right now – and have, for that reason, decided to abstain from oversleeping during the day. Thus my husband now naps alone.
Did I stop growing? I feel like my belly has looked pretty much the same in the last 4 pictures. Waiting for the next growth spurt.
So you may notice that there’s a lot about smells in the cloud this week. If you have been pregnant before you may not be as surprised as me. I thought pregnancy was all about craving donuts and cheese puffs! So here I was waiting for some weird food craving to set in when a package of new shoes came that my mom had ordered to our house. Being the good daughter that I am, I (more…)
I still can’t believe that I’m pregnant. Most of the time I feel like these will be the longest 9 months ever and will we ever get our little baby girl and summer is gonna take forever. And then there are the times when I can’t get it into my head that our first child is baking away inside me and that in just 4 short months she’ll be out to change our lives forever. Will I even understand that I’m gonna be a mom before I am one? (more…)
I don’t know if there’s a certain time when you first feel pregnant, for real. Or if I haven’t really felt it yet. But I think I have. Because up until now things were missing, either the belly wasn’t quite big enough or I hadn’t properly felt the baby kicking or I felt too good or too bad. But I think I hit it. My belly is definitely big enough now (I mean… look at that thing!), baby kicks every single day and apart from the frequent back pain and feeling tired and hungry all the time, I feel great!