As a young married couple we spend quite a lot of time talking about future plans. A lot of things are unstable and we are not sure where the next 5 years of our marriage will take us. For this reason we both feel a need to set goals. But at the same time, and for the same reason, goal setting is proving a little hard, as we have little feeling of anything this early in our marriage.
The last few days I’ve been reading this book. Many of you probably already know about it. I’m just the blond 21 year old that hadn’t. It’s called “As a Man Thinketh” by James Allen. We were recommended this short short book by one of Marcus’ inspiring teachers upon asking for counceling in setting a business related goal. His teacher simply didn’t answer, explaining that he didn’t want to limit our expectations of ourselves. Instead he told us to read this book.
It begins, “The aphorism, ‘As a man thinketh in his heart so is he,’ not only embraces the whole of a man’s being, but is so comprehensive as to reach out to every condition and circumstance of his life”. This sums up pretty well the message of the book. The knowledge that people around us see us only as we see ourselves, tells us that we are our own masters. Success (whatever that may mean to us individually) is within our reach and reaching it is only a matter of will power and discipline. Not saying that a simple thought will magically land us with a full bank account but cultivated thoughts will certainly be able to turn us into the kind of person with the ability to fill up that bank account by way of success.
I would describe myself as a shy person and through my 21 year life I have been in many an intimidating situation. I remember, even as a young girl, observing how my mood, and especially my thoughts, affected how shy I was under certain circumstances. I learned that my ability, or lack of same, to boost my self confidence would determine whether I would feel like a tiny mouse or a rock star! (Wow! This is personal stuff… so don’t laugh. Don’t!) For example, I remember making sure to listen to the right “get psyched” music (Barney Stinson reference alert!) on my way to school in 7th grade and noticing the remarkable difference in how I felt if I walked into the class room only seconds after listening to … uh… Katy Perry? (can’t even remember what I’d listen to back then…) Anyway! You get the gist! However you feel about yourself in any given situation will reflect on your actions – and if I my continue – those confident actions will give results that will spark your confidence even more! What a happy circle!
Marcus and I talked about this, realizing that this theory won’t only help our business related ambitions. But it will most definitely help our marriage and family life! A spouse that thinks to him or herself every day that they have a happy marriage, love their family and would never do anything to break said family up… will never throw that away and will forever cherish the life he or she has. This isn’t to be understood that we should convince and hypnotize ourselves until we have a certain opinion, but with this example it’s more a matter of not forgetting the opinion we have originally – or rather holding fast to what makes us happy.
After having read that first sentence of the book I felt encouraged and motivated to start my day differently tomorrow, to stop limiting myself and to start seeing myself and my life as I want it to be, stronger and more confident in all my endeavors and thereby allowing myself to see and pursue opportunities that I would otherwise seem too intimidating to meet.
Yikes! What a long post! Hope it made a little sense though… :)
PS. If you haven’t read the book I highly recommend you do. The good thing about it being an old book is that you can download it for free right to your smart phone!